What State Has the Most Successful Relationships? Data-Backed Ranking (2025)

Asking “what state has the most successful relationships?” sounds simple. It isn’t. Success depends on how you define it-lasting marriages, low breakup rates, everyday happiness, or the conditions that keep couples steady under stress. Still, you deserve a straight answer backed by real data. Here’s a clear, evidence-based take, plus a practical playbook you can use no matter where you live.

TL;DR: The quick answer

There’s no single score that perfectly ranks love by state, but if you blend the most reliable public indicators through 2023-2024-low divorce and separation, stable marriages, strong social support, good mental health, affordable housing, decent commutes, and steady jobs-one state shows up in the top tier again and again: Minnesota. Massachusetts and Hawaii are right behind. Utah leads if your definition of “success” focuses on marriage-centered households and long-running marriages. If you force a single winner across balanced criteria, Minnesota edges it.

• Most balanced across stability, support, and daily life: Minnesota
• Close contenders with strong stability metrics: Massachusetts, Hawaii
• Marriage-centered standout: Utah
• Strong runners-up you’ll keep seeing: Washington, New Jersey, Vermont, Iowa, Wisconsin

Sources used: U.S. Census Bureau American Community Survey (2023 1-year), CDC/NCHS National Vital Statistics System (provisional marriage/divorce rates, 2022-2023), Gallup National Health and Well-Being Index (2023), CDC Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (2022), BLS State Unemployment (2024), and housing affordability summaries from the Harvard Joint Center for Housing Studies (2024). These aren’t “relationship surveys,” but they capture the social and economic scaffolding that keeps relationships intact.

Method: How we define and measure success

“Successful relationships” can mean a few different outcomes. To avoid cherry-picking, I used indicators with large, reputable samples that tie back to staying together and feeling supported.

• Stability: Lower divorce and separation rates; higher share of long-duration marriages (15+ years). Data: CDC/NCHS; ACS.
• Support: Higher self-reported social/emotional support and well-being. Data: BRFSS; Gallup.
• Daily friction: Shorter commutes, fewer cost burdens, and steady employment. Data: ACS; BLS; housing affordability reports.
• Family formation: Share of married adults; balanced age at first marriage. Data: ACS.

Why these? They’re the closest, high-quality proxies we have at the state level for whether couples have the resources and environment to stay together and feel okay inside that relationship. A happy couple under constant financial and time stress breaks more often. A stable couple in a supportive community weathers storms better.

How the score works (plain English): each indicator is normalized (top quartile gets full credit; bottom quartile gets minimal). Stability and support carry the most weight, because they track closest to staying together; daily friction and family formation are strong modifiers.

Limitations? Sure. State-level data can’t read your heart. The American Time Use Survey tracks time with a spouse, but sample sizes are too small for clean state rankings. Relationship satisfaction surveys rarely publish reliable state cuts. So we lean on big-sample, high-quality proxies that predict staying together and feeling supported.

Results: Top states and the data behind them

When you blend the indicators above, Minnesota rises because it combines Midwestern affordability and manageable commutes with high social support and steady jobs-without sacrificing the classic stability markers. Massachusetts shows strong marital stability and mental health, but daily friction (housing and commute) holds it back from an outright win. Hawaii’s well-being advantage is real, and divorce rates are low, but housing pressure is intense. Utah excels on marriage formation and long-duration marriages, with decent affordability and jobs, though its divorce rate sits closer to the U.S. middle than the very lowest states.

If you only care about the single lowest divorce rates, the Northeast dominates (Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York). If you care more about everyday life conditions that help couples stay steady, the Upper Midwest shines (Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, the Dakotas). If marriage-centered life is your north star-weddings, big families, longer-running marriages-Utah and Idaho leap up.

Bottom line: the “best state for relationships” depends on your definition. For a balanced, stay-together-and-feel-supported blend, Minnesota is the safest single answer for 2025.

Why these states win (and the trade-offs)

Two things usually separate the winners: support and friction. Support means you have family, friends, neighbors, and services around you. Fewer daily friction points-money stress, brutal commutes, unstable jobs-mean fewer sparks that light avoidable fights.

• Social fabric matters. BRFSS data on emotional support lines up with lower separation. States with tight-knit communities and volunteering cultures give couples buffers when life gets messy.
• Time beats everything. ACS commute times predict energy at home. A 20-minute commute difference is 40 minutes more together per workday. Over a year, that’s weeks of extra time.
• Money fights are time fights in disguise. Housing cost burden (rent or mortgage taking 30%+ of income) tracks with conflict. Affordable metros buy patience.
• Well-being isn’t fluff. Gallup’s well-being index rolls up purpose, social life, financial security, community, and physical health. Couples borrow (or absorb) that energy.

Trade-offs show up everywhere:

• High stability, high cost: Massachusetts and New Jersey have enviable divorce stats, but housing and commutes are tough. Many couples move to nearby, cheaper metros once kids arrive.
• High well-being, high cost: Hawaii feels great day to day-until the rent hits. Couples who make it work often rely on extended family housing or multigenerational setups.
• Marriage-centered, growing pains: Utah’s family strength is clear, but fast growth can squeeze housing and roads. Picking the right suburb matters.
• Affordable and steady, fewer big-city perks: The Upper Midwest gives you time and space at the cost of fewer major metros and harsher winters.

Don’t forget life stages. New parents care more about child care access and PTO. Dual-career couples care about job depth. Long-distance couples need airports and flight options. Same-sex couples look for legal protections and welcoming communities (most states protect now, but city-to-city culture still varies).

Your next steps, checklist, and FAQ

Picking a state won’t save a shaky relationship, but the right setting can make a good one easier to keep. Use this as a practical guide.

Decision rules you can trust

• The 168 Rule: You have 168 hours a week. If work + commute + chores take 120+, your relationship gets the scraps. Aim to claw back 5-7 hours for each other by reducing commute, outsourcing chores, or shifting schedules.
• The 3-5-7 Rule: Keep commute under 30 minutes one-way if you can; keep housing under 30-35% of take-home pay; protect 7 hours of couple time per week (doesn’t have to be date night-walks count).
• Early Warning Trio: If you see rising debt, rising commute, and falling sleep at the same time, downshift something-role, city, or home size-within 90 days.
• Quarterly Retro: Every three months, ask: What gave us energy? What drained us? What one change gives us both an extra hour a day?

Relocation checklist (if you’re choosing where to live)

1. Pull city-level commute data (ACS or local stats) and map your likely door-to-door time at rush hour. Test-drive it once.
2. Check rent or mortgage-to-income at the neighborhood level. If it’s over 35%, rerun the math or widen your search radius.
3. Scan child care waitlists and costs if you want kids. Availability beats glossy averages.
4. Find your “third places” in advance (parks, gyms, community centers, faith groups). Support doesn’t appear by magic.
5. Audit PTO and flexibility. A small drop in pay for better schedules is often worth it.
6. Run a 6-month budget with real prices (utilities, insurance, groceries). Add a 10% “life happens” buffer.

If you’re staying put: a mini playbook

• Time swap: Trade one streaming hour for a daily 20-minute walk together. Movement + talk beats screens.
• Sunday sync: 30 minutes to plan meals, rides, bills, and one fun thing. Friction falls all week.
• Micro-rituals: One coffee check-in, lights-out at the same time three nights a week, phones off for 10 minutes after work.
• Outsource one fight: Lawn, laundry, or groceries-pick the task you fight about and remove it.

Mini-FAQ

• Isn’t divorce rate enough to answer this? No. A low divorce rate can reflect demographics, age at marriage, or barriers to exit-not happiness. It’s one piece.
• What about New York or California? Big, diverse states average out. Some metros are great for couples; others are high-friction. Look city by city.
• Where do same-sex couples do best? Legal protections are broad now, but community acceptance varies locally. Look for metro-level equality scores, inclusive health care, and active LGBTQ+ networks.
• Can you be happy in a “low-ranked” state? Totally. Couples thrive with support, not just stats. Your neighborhood, schedules, and friends matter more than a state line.
• Any single number I can track? Try this: shared hours per week not spent on screens or chores. Push it above 7 and guard it.

Troubleshooting by scenario

• Long-distance couples: Prioritize flight options, not just airport distance. Two nonstop routes you actually use beat one giant hub an hour away.
• Duel commutes in opposite directions: Center near the partner with less schedule flexibility. Bank the saved time as shared hours.
• New parents: Pick child care first, home second. A 15-minute daycare run saves your sanity twice a day.
• Career changers: Take the job with reliable hours over the small raise. Predictability is couple gold.
• Under financial stress: Step down housing one notch for 12 months, erase one recurring bill, and funnel savings to an “annoyance fund” for rides, repairs, babysitters.

One last reality check: people move for work, family, or cultural fit, not just relationship stats. That’s fine. The trick is to stack the deck once you’re there-choose a shorter commute over a fancier kitchen, say yes to the neighbor’s barbecue, and schedule boring logistics so they stop hijacking your evenings.

If you’re choosing with a partner right now, here’s a simple script: “Which city gives us the most time together for the least money stress?” Answer that honestly, and you’ll make the right call-Minnesota or not.